~voulez vous~

~true nv~

hey

voulez vous

to continue on

voulez vous

to carry forth

haha

check the meaning yourself

will ya

its easy trust me

haha

what do you want

what do you want

what do you want

i dont know

stop asking me

haha

cool

haha

crapping

again

okae

i want more people

to read

tag

where else but here

~MAI~

~time for celebration~

~true nv~

hey

izit time for celebrations

i donno

but one thing to be happy is

that up there is my first pic

haha

yay me

finally something in colours

to liven this odd place

hehe

yes

as i said earlier posts

'08 is ending

pretty soon

so its time to welcome a new year

well

izit the time to celebrate

the end of one

heartfelt

year

i donno

i really dont

i am really split up

but i guess

we have to wait and see

~MAI~

~stop in the name of~

~true nv~

hey

yes

it might as well be

another pathetic excuse

for a post

but hey

its mine

n you are reading it

not feeling smart

are we

haha

well i should stop crapping

blogs are a place

to share my experiences

so i shall post one

everything in life

has an emergency brake

lets visualize here

ok already

good

when we see anyone goin too

fast and furious

no pun intended

just say

stop in the name of

well it can be

stop in the name of love

yeah its a song

stop in the name of your pet goldfish

something meaningful

whatever it might be

so cheer up

all disasters

can be stopped

just know when to stop it

~MAI

~love me or hate me~

~true nv~

hey

yeah

love me

or hate me

its still an obsession

love me

or hate me

that is the

question

hmm

if you love me

thank you

if you hate me

then you leave me no choice

why not why not why not why not

have enough

irritated yet

no

ouh

yes

good

you know whats good

for you

so you love me then

yay

peace

i want

peace

(you have been awarded mr universe)

i wanna thank my parents

haha

thats some crap

haha

not mentioning

far from the straight path

haha

get it

no

ouh well

hehe

well now

we all know

theres no more question

coz the only thing left to do is

love me

~MAI~

~last day of year 2008~

~true nv~

hey

sweet

its the last day of '08

isnt just awesome

i think it is

well lets reflect

this year i enrolled for a

2 year course in jc education

n i made it to the second

hehe

i met the most awesome group

of people

0842a

yes its you

yay you

thanks for all those warm smiles

warm hearts

warm love

warm touch

ouh yes the touch

haha

jkjk

how i wish

haha

okae jk

just a heads up to table

hmm yes that table over there

nice job this year

sadly small table next year

gonna miss all those yong tau fu

aww

just wonderful people

with wonderful

big

heart

they have gone through

alot

trust me

they did

and they went through it

beautiful

i know

just am so glad they made it

goodness how honored i am

just to meet you guys

love you much

hugs and kisses

not you

you

yes you

theres a lot

of first for me this year

my first hug

my first raya in johor

my first and apparently only meeting with Ning Baizura

so i would like

to end year 2008

with my dearest

sincere apology

and i hope you forgive me

~MAI~

~i'm smart i'm smart i'm smart~

~true nv~

hey

i just went through math tuition

it happened yesterday

for the first time in a long time

and i realised i am so slow

i mean smart

yeah

thats what i meant

haha

okay i admit im slow

dont blame me

i just havent work my noodle

thats another term for brain

rite

if its not you know what i mean

but i am indeed psyched

i have hw

im keen on doin it

rite or wrong

the thing is i did it

well not much left to say

im gonna end this soon

pretty soon

sooner than you can say

seeya (and look its over HAH you lose)

~MAI~

~how to destroy your life and your friends life in 6 months~

~true nv~

Part I

hey

i have tips to destroy your friends

and your own life in 6 months

and please don't ever follow these

don't say i didn't warn

well the reason I'm doing this is

to try and make you realise if you yourself

have been and still doing such disastrous things

so it's a lesson to learn

well i shall not say where i get my sources from

1st: lie from the beginning

about: to others but most importantly to yourself

             it makes no sense to lie to yourself thinking something is

             good when you are destroying what was good before

consequence: now people won't believe when you're saying the truth

~MAI~

~a song about love~

~true nv~

(verse 1)

if i've not been so lucky

i would not have seen

the love that blinds me

a light from deep within

(verse 2)

a passion i thought empty

yet it fills to the brim

a dream i stopped chasing

came straight at me

(bridge)

how was i suppose to understand

i never felt this way

even though i tried to read your mind

it just kept on saying

(chorus)

open your eyes

see what I'm seeing

it's no surprise

you don't believe what you're living

so just stop

thinking

(verse 3)

you stole my heart in a clean sweep

so i guess it's destiny

something so intrigue

it skips after each beat

(bridge)

how was i suppose to understand

i never felt this way

even though i tried to read your mind

it just kept on saying

(chorus)

open your eyes

see what I'm seeing

it's no surprise

you don't believe what you're living

so just just stop

thinking

(verse 4)

who would have thought i would ever feel this way

this way

with you

by me

who would have thought i would live to see the day

the day

i met

you meet

we met

tonight

(end)

lyrics: Hafizan

copyright 2008

~a little too not over you~

~true nv~

hey now

hey now

is this what

dreams are made of

if it is what a feeling

i made up my mind

dont need to think it over

if im wrong i am right

dont need to look no further

this aint lust i know this is love

but if i tell the world

it will nvr be enough

coz it was not said to you

and tats exactly wad i need to do

if i end up with you

i dont care

i dont care

i dont care

i dont care

hmm

u can cry

cry cry

again

gain gain

my face like a mannequin

hahaha

tats fun

wahahaha

changing words

love it

~MAI~

~i wish upon a star~

~true nv~

happy holidays to all of u

be happy

ok

be happy

smile

~MAI~

~it's like i'm back y'all~

~true nv~

yeah

its like im back

duh

coz i am back

haha

back from a 1n 2d trip

to where

to kl lah

kl what

kuala lumpur lah

haha

i saw a tee at Armani Exchange

wow

nice

thought i CAP it since u oe its all expensive n all

wahaha

i stayed at JW Marriott

its spelt tat way rite

haha

well it was good

i wanted to go wind shop

but it wasnt the econminded thing to do

haha

well i too am way affected by econ meltdown okae

made worst by no allowance

i didnt miss school this much

money money money

na   na   na   na   na

haha

well tad shows i can pretty much strike a beat

haha

hav u notice

besides the bad speeling

i dont put the signs

qn marks, exclaimation marks etc

haha

i guess tis makes mine more unique

than whose

than urs lah

duh

haha

well tis was fun

hope more non emo post

to come

seeya

~MAI~

~amazing find~

~true nv~

smiling

me

yes

can say

and see

haha

scary

me

yes

maybe

giggles

where

home

or elsewhere

crazy or fair

haha

im not

i hope

crazy

i aint

lying

me

no

hopefully

please

haha

i believe

in lying

for the greater good

evil maybe

tells

what

me

you

us

~MAI~

~missing pieces~

~true nv~

missing

what is missing

i have no idea

or do i

maybe i will say

maybe i wont

haha

nope

i wont

haha

lovers

who

me

you

i donno

haha

maybe i do

maybe i dont

maybe its you

maybe i wont

early

me

yes

sleep no

awake

haha

sad

i know

but thankful

nonetheless

bells

christmas

nope

easter

so far

haha

maybe i know

maybe i dont

sad to know

lying i wont

~MAI~

~dengar ku harap datang ku impi~

~true nv~

diam segan bisu malu

kalbu bernadi rentak suci

akal menulis setiap reaksi

tangan melukis sesuka hati

keghairahan yang mengaburi

diam segan bisu malu

jiwa bergelora dihentam ombak

minda terbakar dedebu hangus

jari mengerut barisan di muka

ditelan semuanya bak manisan India

diam segan bisu malu

rohani berpasir padang banjir

fikiran meronta-ronta mentari tidak membenam

badan diisi kekosongan diri

yang diingini tidak mengunjungi

fata morgana mimpi di bumi

menyelam realiti terjaga jangan

kerana diam beerti segan

bisu alamatnya malu

kata bukan seribu suara bukanlah aku

~MAI~

~dream come true~

~true nv~

hey
it's been a month or so hasn't it
haha
i have been rather occupied

be it personal matters or not
its's been hectic for me
hehe
well on the 4th of December
my dream came true

i met
Ning Baizura
heard her sing 2 songs
fantastic
and got to have 2 solo pics with her
and 1 group pic
so fun

atop of that
i have a pic with Era Farida
and Katy Ibrahim
sorry if i spell any of their names wrongly
it was great

~MAI~

~memories too good~

~true nv~

hey

it's 6 NOV 08

my 17th birthday

yay

i had to go school for activities and to shoot a video

both of which was so cool

but more was to come i guess

i expected the unexpected and it backfired

got the surprise of my life

ARIF, MAS, AIN, SARAH & LATIFAH

came to my home with a gift a nice one i might add

and cake

speechless

omg

first time for all those

nvr had it occured to me

i really donno how to thank them enough

not only that they are being secretive bout the whole thing

darn

but

omg

if u guys are reading this

i really appreciate all of that you guys have done and gone through for me

and i wish we will stay together

LOVE you guys

~MAI~

~just a feeling~

~true nv~

hey

been very long since ive posted

been what they call it

busy

haha

yeah todays post is special

its gonna reveal what i fear

besides height that is

haha

well here goes

ans these qns

am i ur fren

am i a gd fren

am i boring

am i someone u can rely on

am i someone u can depend for help

if i am for at least one

am i gd enough for u

gd enough to accompany u

gd enough that u will not make me feel left out

coz i cant bare to feel that im not doin what u expect of me

thats why im depressed more often now

if u realise that is

i try to mask it

but no promises

tell me if im not gd enough

dont question me if im secretive

thats why i dont feel u trust me enough to help u

and i expect u to help me

so there

end

~MAI~

~mid killer course~

~true nv~

well as u guys might or rather should noe

the mid course is here n will end soon

yes but why do i feel stress now

is it because i didnt do what i thought i could and would

darn

hate tis feeling

well raya is here for three more weeks

yes after mc can celebrate fully without any afterthoughts

i would like to take this opportunity to ask for ur forgiveness

if i had done anything that hurt u whether directly or not

please forgive me

i will forgive if u do

hopefully we both forgive each other

thx

end

~MAI should i~

~the night we ruled the world~

~true nv~

if u guys didnt noe

me and halim went on air

on the 25th sept

on ria fm

coolness

it was fun yet i was nervous

now the whole world noes

haha

i tried to sing

too soft i guess

darn

haha

but i got too be a dj for a day

cool

get to hear my voice on air

though its not nice

haha

halim was great

gd dj voice

we were baku

haha

cool

haha

will remember tat day

when we ruled the world

~still empty~

~might be too late but i'm happy i woke up~

~true nv~

hey
for all of u who have been constantly reading my blog
thx
been a while since i put up post of my own
n not lyrics
though it has meanings

haha
now lets get to it
i got a wake up call from my friend
like juz woke up from coma awake
no offence intended
but ya

however it seemed that my efforts have been futile
sad
but i think it is for the best
im not funny
im not smart
im not brave
im not religious
im not me

well to tell u the truth
i have tried to be someone else
someone who i thought i was but now im not
so guess wad
im now a changing man
haha

true
im not lying
but i hope my friends able to accept
what im going to do
what im sacrificing for
its for ur own good

i noe its sad
i don wanna lose my friends
probably will
but it is something i must try to do
for myself
for once

im sorry
especially to me
for betraying myself
lying to myself
hurting myself

if only i have someone to talk to now
in the past i did
now no more
maybe its my fault
probably is

but i really need someone now
to hug her
to tell i love her
but why all end up in friendship
its sad
its pathetic

well i guess its juz me
well i noe life is unfair
to me n everyone
but is it too much to ask
for someone to love me in return

this is deep
but i wanna noe
rejection is not pretty
nor is it fun
sigh

haha
why am i sad
i donno
its pathetic of me
but i cant help it
sad

but i will change as i said before
so watch out ppl
its an all out war

~wonder what will fill this space~

~sorry~

~true nv~

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you 
I'll tell you that 
But if I didn't say it 
Well, I'd still have felt it 
Where's the sense in that? 

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder 
Or return to where we were 

Well I will go down with this ship 
And I won't put my hands up and surrender 
There will be no white flag above my door 
I'm in love and always will be 

I know I left too much mess 
And destruction to come back again 
And I caused but nothing but trouble 
I understand if you can't talk to me again 
And if you live by the rules of "It's over" 
Then I'm sure that that makes sense 

Well I will go down with this ship 
And I won't put my hands up and surrender 
There will be no white flag above my door 

I'm in love and always will be 

And when we meet 
As I'm sure we will 
All that was then 
Will be there still 
I'll let it pass 
And hold my tongue 
And you will think 
That I've moved on 

Well I will go down with this ship 
And I won't put my hands up and surrender 
There will be no white flag above my door 
I'm in love and always will be 

~MAI~

~metronome~

~true nv~

hey

moving through a transition from formal to informal

i'm sick

got cough and running nose

sigh

econs is dreadful

but i think i can do it

no i must be determined to do it

haha

gear one shifted

gear two attained

gear three tried

i guess gear four is just too much

cool

haha

that is MINE

repeat that over and over again

MINE MINE MINE

ending off

~MAI~

~a moment of silence, a lifetime of memories~

~true nv~

hello

today i will be taking a rather formal tone

lets remember who we have lost

and take our time to cherish who we still have

*moment of silence*

...

...

...

...

...

thank you

lets pray that our love ones are safe and healthy

remember that nothing is forever

and forever is ignorance

live life not because that you are forced to

live life because you want to and have the privilege to do so

i shall end this post with a short phrase

'no matter how hard and long the journey is,

it can disappear in an instant if you let it be a memory' 

~MAI~

~cold shoulder~

~true nv~

You say it’s all in my head
And the things I think just don’t make sense
So where you been then? Don’t go all coy
Don’t turn it round on me like it’s my fault
See I can see that look in your eyes
The one that shoots me each and every time

You grace me with your cold shoulder
Whenever you look at me I wish I was her
You shower me with words made of knives
Whenever you look at me I wish I was her

These days when I see you
You make it look like I’m see through
Do tell me why you waste our time
When your heart ain’t admitting you’re not satisfied
You know I know just how you feel
I’m starting to find myself feeling that way too

When you grace me with your cold shoulder
Whenever you look at me I wish I was her
You shower me with words made of knives
Whenever you look at me I wish I was her

Time and time again, I play the role of fool .. just for you
Even in the daylight when you’re dreaming .. I see you
Try to look for things I hear but our eyes never find
‘though I do know how you play

You grace me with your cold shoulder
Whenever you look at me I wish I was her
You shower me with words made of knives
Whenever you look at me I wish I was her

You grace me with your cold shoulder
Whenever you look at me I wish I was her
You shower me with words made of knives
Whenever you look at me I wish I was her

~MAI~

~i got no hole in my shoe, just a big hole in my world~

~true nv~

hey

the title is long i know

wish it could be shorter

but wishes doesn't have to come true right

haha

okay

lets get down to business

as my previous post have said enough

it still bites to know that i still want to know whether she likes me

sigh

coz if one day she wakes up and finds thats she's missing me

then her heart starts to wonder where on earth i could be

sigh

disturbing

i know

sometimes laughter

sometimes silence

i shall not say more

must stop telling you guys my feelings

i know there's a delete button

shut up

end

~MAI~

~heartbroken~

~true nv~

hey
if you guys didn't know
i like this girl
it doesn't matter who
it matters not

but the ACERs day really broke my heart
i have had feelings for her
but that really did it
utter rejection
wake up call

maybe i'm the one at fault
due to the 'soft' way i portray myself
darn
shit
snap

sigh

~MAI~

~answer this~

~true nv~

why did u ask me those questions
it was a mistake
a horrible mistake
lol
haha

jkjk
but still want to know
it does affect things right
i believe so myself
darn

but all of you need not know what this is
a secret for me to know solely
haha

~MAI~

~Fasting and Terawih~

~true nv~

hey...
yesterday i went for the 1st terawih but today i didn't
yesterday was okay
today i had to finish my gp hw
haha
waste

fasting today was good
manage to survive haha
start of a brand new beginning
a better me i hope
hopefully it comes true

tmr have dreadful geog lect
darn
i love geog and all
but darn
hate to come back to sch

have to study like seriously
if not bye bye J2
sigh
haha

~MAI~

~i just can't live lie~

~true nv~

hey
long time wasn't it
i know i know
juz been busy with sch and all
imagine geog test 30mins before econs test
for me its horrible

okay as the title says
it has been okae in a rather awkward way
you know since someone knows my darkest secret
but it made things rather easy
less burden i say

its funny how someone can know me so well
haha
hate it sometimes
but people adapt right
arif would be smirking right now
haha

he's true
ppl adapt
and soon i will to in the view that the dark side is recruiting ppl
haha
don't look at the dark side

why not look at me instead
haha
okay don't need to stare
haha
ending off
see ya

~MAI~

~is it too late to apologize~~

~true nv~

hey
to all that i have hurt and wasted breath on
i wish to ask for ur forgiveness
i feel so bad and stupid now
seriously

i cannot express how sorry i am in words
unfortunately i prefer a one on one forgiving session
i have approach some of u that i feel i have hurt the most
yet i haven't approach the most important person
tmr maybe

aargh
feel so stupid
dang
now it's so weird
to see closeness at far

~MAI~

~kindness i have little ~

~true nv~

Halim
yes you
i envy u seh
baik sangat gitulah

haha
i donno whether u like being praised all the time
cause i would not
haha
jkjk

u very lucky seh
u can manage to control anger
and i never see u hurt someone
so good
i wish i can do that

will not give up
yah
haha
but dah lambat dah merajuk dah marah
dah sakitkan dah menyusahkan
they still remember and bring it up

sedih
haha
nooooooooo
reformation has started

hehe
got to say i envy u seh
but i think thats enough
don wan to make u feel tk sedap
sorry

but bravo
u have my respect

~MAI~

~it hurts well i can't show~

~true nv~

shut up and let me go
this hurts i tell you so
the last time u say me in bits
so shut up and let me go

haha
see-saw life
fair as ever
guess Arif is correct
a good day will have an equally bad day to follow

haha
well i guess that's life
funny in how it is fair
but cannot merajuk
later ppl don't like

haha
tats why i'm happy
haha
really
serious

hehe
haha
hoho
huhu

~MAI~

~bye lollipop~

~true nv~

hey
long time never post
today's post is rather an upbeat one
as you can see by the title itself
haha

great day yesterday
i lost congkak to Arif lots of time
embarrassing seh
the scoreline 9-3
8 of which i lost in a row

snap
haha
good time finally
miss those days
haha

on a lesser queer note
wait a minute
aargh hmmph
MAN
haha

i want to eat whooper
texas man
haha

~MAI~

~how to say i'm sorry~

~true nv~

hey
i feel so darn stupid now
all these while i was angry for no reason
hurt my friends
and lost my best friend

the best friend part still unsure
i hope i'm wrong
nothing is worst for me to go through this again
last year was the first i think
i don't want it to happen this year'

damn
darn
argh
snap
aaaaargh

cannot believe that i'm so dumb
all these while
shit
my god why
i'm both happy and scared

help
i want to know
dang
oh shit
freakin' hell

~MAI~how long?

~today in history~

~true nv~

today was a fun day
did my pw with my ever hardworking teammates
and then i did geog
well that happens later that night
laughs

after the project meeting that Herda came also
why dont ask me
joking joking
we went to watch movie
the 'love guru'
that was fun

after that we when to arcade
Nad was furious that the machine was spoil
but she kicked the hell out of who knows what
laughs

then we took the expensive pictures
i shall not comment on how i look
besides being good looking
it's hard to find any flaws
laughs

you don't need to laugh or comment
i could be joking but who says i'm not
laughs
guess i'm ending this too
the end

~MAI~

~class bbq~

~true nv~

yesterday was a great day for me
my class had a bbq at Sarah's house
not actually in her house but her condo
not her condo but
u get the picture right

the whole class cannot attend unfortunately
that leaves a few of us and some people from other places
funny isn't it
well i dont think so
well it was fun

i was the first to arrive
ironic as i am the one usually late
regardless for school or other occasions
well that shows i have changed
i hope it last
don't laugh

well it ended on a higher note than i expected
good
if not it will be dreadful when i remember it
ouch it hurts just thinking of it
seriously why are you laughing

okay then i guess this is it
i'm ending this post and moving on to the next one
so there i am ending it
the end

~MAI~

~afraid not what i fear~

~true nv~

today is a rather off yet fun day i had
knowing that rubbish is still useful when recycle
yet not knowing how the rubbish feels to change
according to the needs of people

haha
jk
chill u know what life sure is fun when fun people are around
it matters not who u are
all that matters is that u are tall smart and does not cry
lol

tat was another joke
i might not be tall but i am rather smart i think
haha
cry i do not
wait
everyone cries

oh man
haha
still conflicting inside i guess
but things looks good
yes

open the door in front of u
to see whats inside
close the door behind u
forget whats inside
all u will see is future

deliver urself with care
fragile u are n see whether they care
if u r weak u will not survive
they will leave u without a second thought
so choose your juorney
look towards the future or juz remain in the past
see whether u will survive

~MAI~

~Happy Birthday~

~true nv~

today was fun
Happy Birthday Singapore 43rd
hope u have a pleasant journey ahead
live sure will be adventurous in the future

~MAI~

~a new awakening~

~true nv~

'welcome to my humble beginning'

true enough as the title says
this marks a new beginning
awakening
let's start

as an official shift from schoolboy35
if u do not know it is my livejournal
now lets seriously start

jc life is adventurous
full of fun and sorrow
but i manage to pull through with some great help from
you know who
thanks very much appreciate it

now the battle rages on
haha
jk
actually
haha

upbeat tempo now
if im happy and u know it msg me
haha
seriuosly my hp not ringing
haha

half of my friends or somewhere there is in jc
so they mean a lot to me
and i continue searching for my best friend
as you guys might know i tend to need a best friend
so far theres one person

hehe

wanna know who?
cannot
haha
ask me if u dare

lol

till nxt time

~MAI~